How to interact with women of reproductive age

Note: this originally started out as a joke at work: that the men in the department would write just such a guide. Then I wrote it. And since I wrote it, it's only really about how to interact with the sort of women I would, if I weren't married, want to meet. As such, I have the underlying assumption that the manreader wants a relationship, or whatever sort, of equality.

Further, consider the message, not the source: I don't claim that I'm particularly successful with women, indeed, there's no reason why you should listen to me.

 

I. What women want

Despite cultural mythology, women are not mystical or even very complicated creatures. They are, however, much less consistent than men are: what was good on day #1 may or may not be good on day #2, depending on a variety of factors, influences, etc. No use complaining about it or throwing your hands in the air in exasperation. That’s the way it is.

Women, generally speaking, want to be treated like someone special. This is important. Each woman you meet will want to feel like she’s different and more important to you than other women; that she’s not easily replaceable, that’s she not just what you settled for. If this is really the case, cool. If not, it is highly advantageous, if not essential, to pretend that it is the case.
Women like a mixture of safety and excitement/toughness in a man. To get this balance right is one of our biggest challenges. Good luck.

II. You

The path from you to women starts, predictably, with you.

Your appearance:

Maintain a minimum standard of hygiene: shower, wear clean clothes, brush your teeth, wear deodorant. Clean your ears. Trim your finger- and toenails. If you get to the barefoot stage, women are particularly turned off by sharp toenails, believe me. I shouldn’t have to tell you all this.
Regarding clothing, you don’t need to go crazy here, women don’t expect you to wear matching clothes or, in their parlance “outfits”, but if you do, they will notice and they will (very probably) like it. If you’re in doubt ask a woman, even your Mom, or a co-worker, “Do I match?”. You don’t need to “accessorize” or have a manicure. You don’t even need to shave. Women put a hell of a lot into their own appearance, you should at least look a little put together – not like you slept outside.

Your behavior

Generally speaking it’s best to be yourself, unless you’re a disgusting slob or a wreck, in which case, try to pull yourself together at least long enough to fool her.
Don’t act like you’re drinking at home with your man friends. And do not fawn all over the women like you're a peasant and she's a princess. If you have the opposite problem, remember that many men think they are a fantastic catch, a real prize -- in truth, few men are. Of course, you may be, but more likely you're in the fatter part of the bell curve. Be polite to her but act like you're equals.

III. Talking to women

Let her do most of the talking. You must, at least, give the impression that you’re actively listening. Agree with her on a few points. Share some details that will build a connection to what she’s said; e.g. if she says her sister lives in Bregenz, mention that you saw a play there (if you really did) or that your Aunt used to live there. If you disagree with something she says, feel free to express it, but not vehemently. This isn’t a debate.
The #1 mistake men make is to ruin everything by saying something stupid, egotistical, or insensitive. Don’t attempt to impress women or prove how smart or how important you are. This is irritating to women, probably because it just shows that if you need to prove it, you feel inadequate. Inadequate is 0% sexy. And if you are smart or important she will have already sensed it.
Lastly, while compliments are the way to woman’s heart, you can’t give them out like candy to children and expect instant gratitude. Don’t open with compliments, save them. If you do give them, they should be true and not something she gets all the time.
If you’re funny, good. Woman love men who can make them laugh. Love them. But don’t be nasty.

IV. How to know when a woman is interested in you?

If she looks at you, that’s good. If she looks at you and slow licks her lips, while slowly crossing and uncrossing her legs, she’s interested. What are you waiting for? Go get her, you tiger! Admittedly, this is unlikely to happen. When a woman is interested in you, she'll send you little body language signals and looks which you will fail to catch. If you do manage to catch them, remember that the looks probably say "I'm interested in you. I would like if you approached me." not "Let's have sex right now." Try to act accordingly. If you approach a woman without her having sent you these signals, you will almost certainly be rejected, unless you have a certainly special something (maybe looks, maybe some je ne sais quoi). And if you do have that something special there's no need to read this little piece except of course, as a joke, as it was originally intended.